Trouble on Myspace: DJ Scratch vs. Scratchator

So I’m a big fan of Myspace. I’ve added Rakim, The Rocker Marty Janetty and numerous other legends to my profile within the first week. Each time I add someone I usually leave a quick comment telling the person I really respect their work or whatnot. They usually never reply if they’re bignamed artists, but all of a sudden I got an email answer back – from none other than the legendary DJ Scratch from EPMD!

Oh joy, I thought, but come to show it’s not a pretty e-mail. See I had sent him a comment calling him Scratchator, thinking that was his new name while performing for Busta Rhymes. Busta Rhymes is fund of dinosaurs so it’d make sense with the namechange (remember the line “I always roam thru the forest / like a brontosaurus” from Abandon Ship). How ever this was not the case. See, this was the DJ Scratch that had produced for EPMD, PMD, FLIPMODE and a host of others. The one who had brung it back, when Erick Sermon asked “Yo Paul, bring it back” and the one who won numerous DJ contests, sometimes while scratching with his penis. However, DJ Scratchator he was not. In fact he thought that DJ Scratchator was a bit of a poser, as you can see by our following e-mail conversation:

In any case I wish DJ Scratch good luck in his career, and as it says on his website: there are many DJ’s named Scratch – but only one is legendary. See you next update, I’m off to offend more people on Myspace!

The Rev and The Hulkster talk 2. season

At first I couldn’t believe it. But it was actually happening before my very eyes. I’m at the press-conference for the dual launch of the second seasons of Run’s House and Hogan Knows Best. Most people thought reality TV would play out after Puck got kicked of The Real World; who the hell would wanna be see another spin on The Osbournes? How could you possibly find someone to rival Ozzy when it came to legend status, rehabilitated drugabuse, and general craziness? Turns out the 80’s icons Hulk Hogan and Run of Run-DMC were right around the corner. We – I mean me – here at the hiphop, the simpsons and wrestling blog was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with the two gentlemen, as they announced the sophomore seasons of their shows. What follows here is a word by word transcript:

It’s great to see you gentlemen, how are you today?

Hulk Hogan: Well let me tell you something mean Pete, it’s a great feeling for me, to get the
chance to have all the little Hulkamaniacs out there enjoy another season of the Hulkster doing what he does best: Walk around in my underwear while overprotecting my teenage daughter, brother!

Swell, and how about you Reverend Run, are you also excited?

Reverend Run: Good morning. Have you ever concidered that there is no better leader than example. When I show the world my family I am holding up a mirror of every family in the world, from Hollis to Hollywood. God is love.

Could we have a little back history on what made you two icons?

Hulk Hogan: When I held Andre The Giant over my head and bodyslammed him at Wrestlemania III infront of 93000+ people. The weight of his 700 lbs body made the ring collapse and he died a few months after.

Really? I thought the official attendence at Wrestlemania III was around 78.000. And you didn’t lift him over your head, you had him at shoulder height. And wasn’t he around 520 lbs? And hey wait, didn’t he die in 1993, six years after Wrestlemania?

Hulk Hogan: Let me tell you brother, when I had Andre the Giant cinched up in the launch position, when I slammed him through the Trump Plaza, brother! From New York, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line brokek off! And as Andre the Giant fell into the ocean! As my next two opponents fell to the ocean floor and I pinned ‘em, so did Donald trump and all the Hulkamaniacs! But as Donald Trump hung on to the top of the Trump Plaza, with his family under his other arm, as they Sank, to the bottom of the sea. Thank god Donald Trump’s a Hulkamaniac! He knew enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hung on to the wife and kids, dog paddled with his life all the way to safety! But something happened, Donald ran out of gas, and all those little Hulkamaniacs, they just hung on to the largest back in the world, and I dog paddled us, backstroked all of us to safety!

Cool, I don’t think we’ll get much further with this. How about you Run, what are your credidentials?

Reverend Run: Here’s a little story ’bout a boy named Joey, king of the world got a very long story. Made alotta money, lived a life of glory. Did what he done but he end up sorry.

Oh that’s too bad, what made you end up sorry?

Reverend Run: Joe was a leader way before his time, made by the people and he kicked much rhyme, had a two-seater and he rode past signs, smoked alotta cheeba and he drank much wine.

That’s terrible then what happened?

Reverend Run: One day Joey had to stop his scheme, got a revalation and came back clean, got a second chance to fulfill his dream, now Joey is a reverend and he’s been redeemed!

Oh wow. So speaking of being redeemed, was there any moment in the past season that you’re somewhat embarrased by?

Hulk Hogan: Let me tell you, brother. The fact that after being the world champion eleven the only wrestler that wants to hang out with me is Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs. And I have a feeling he’s only around to drink the Hulkster’s beer, brother.

Reverend Run: You think that’s bad. How about spending your time finding the hypest rap crew, with the flyest name, Union Turnpike, then introduce them to your media-mogul brother, and he discovers that they’re totally talentless and thinks you’re a bit insane on top of that? U be illin’ Hogan, u really be illin’.

Hulk Hogan: Dookie!?

Has the series done anything for your other family members?

Hulk Hogan: Let me tell you, brother. The Hulkster’s daughter is just about ready to be the next Britney Spears, except her chest is real. As real as my 6’8 frame, brother.

Reverend Run: I would say my whole family has gained alot, as they have seen their father lead by example as I put them all to a competitive battle for a hunnid nallas.

Hunnid nallas?

Reverend Run: Hunnid nallas!

Do you mean a hundred dollars?

Reverend Run: Yes. God is love.

Right. What can we expect of the next season from your shows?

Hulk Hogan: Expect the Hulkster to return to the ring and have five star matches where I outwrestle Chris Benoit, brother. All the little Hulkamaniacs will cheer as I flex my 24 inch pythons for one final time brother!

And you Reverend Run?

Reverend Run: I won’t stop rocking til I retire!

I though you had in fact retired?

Reverend Run: Then I’ll stop rocking. God is love.

I noticed the two of you are wearing the same gold watch, much like Eddie Murphy and Johnny Gill have on the same male-bracelet as they go out, any specific reason for that?

Hulk Hogan: Hey, just because wrestling is homoerotic doesn’t mean the Hulkster takes a walk on the wild side, brother. That one time with Pat Patterson was just to get my career started.

All right, all right, to end on a positive note, got a message to the fans out there?

Hulk Hogan: Train, say your prayers and don’t continue wrestling with a false knee and hip.
Reverend Run: False hip? How ’bout a game of hoop Hulk? I’ll play you for a hunnid nallas!

Run’s House and Hogan Knows Best can be seen on MTV Nordic here in Scandinavia. The second seasons of the shows should be airing this summer. Make sure to check Run’s website to listen to his new music, and read his daily words of wisdom. RIP JMJ and Andre The Giant.

Shoutout to all y’all motherbloggers + myspace-profile!

Well well, they said it was a pipe-dream. Noone wanted to hear about neither hiphop, the simpsons nor wrestling. Yet here we are, around 30 (thirty!) tune into the blog each and every day to see what’s going on. This is the moment, where I take time out to thank all the people, that are sending readers my way by having me on their blog, website or whatever else media that generates links:

Frednukes: my talented friend who is as passionate about tv-watching as myself. Once we contemplated making a duo called Cable Guys, cause we like tv + we’re as annoying as Jim Carey in that movie.

Kimblim: Caretaker and general manager of hiphop.dk. Known to his friends and enemies as Kim-internet, and constantly gets stalked by cleaning ladies at work.

Krede: Professional wrestler from Denmark. Do I need to write it again? Professional wrestler from DENMARK!?

Per.tv: Home of Per Vers, the incredible, lyrical and original.

Ane Marte: Miss Kensington, who now recides at Berkeley University in California. More on that campus in a coming update.

Opsang.dk: Who host my files and will eventually be the home of Jokke I’et, a nice young man.

Dennis Flux: Wrestling fanatic and younger brother of Orama, my one time partner in rhyme.

Rapspot.dk: Recently mentioned me in an update about blogging, generating mad traffic.

Startout.dk: Dol Gun makes sure the hip-hop, the simpsons and wrestling blog gets nuff mentions!

Benno.newsvine.com: Political aware blogger that mentioned our battle for evil corporation owner supremacy.

That be it. I thank the people behind the linking from the bottom of my heart. Or maybe even below the heart, in the subcockle area. Maybe from the liver, maybe the kidney. Maybe even from the colon, I don’t know. But thank you!

In other moves. I’ve gotten a myspace profile. That means you can check some rhyme and reason from yours truly on myspace.com/petepta. Make sure to add me as a friend on there, and everything will be freshfest like it was 86 again!

There’s a horse in the hospital: the return of Dr. Octagon

Here at the hiphop, the simpsons & wrestling blog we love us some Kool Keith. Maybe it deals with the fact that the creator of the blog – me – was born on Jupiter similar to Dr. Octagon. Well, actually not born really, rather grew up on Jupiter. And it wasn’t excactly on the planet it was on a street named Jupitervej, but still – you can see the connection.

Kool Keith has always been good for a gimmick or two, Fly Ricky The Winetaster definitely being the most underrated, but his most famous to date has been Dr. Octagon. He’s now resurfaced in new form. Even though he was killed on the Dr. Dooom album, he’s apparently returned from outer space and twisted the letters of his name into Mr. Nogatco – short for National Objectives for Governmental Astral-Terrestrial Covert Operations. Phew. Anyways you can peep the site and Keith doing his dang here. Rumours have it Mr. Hill from Oldominion will be producing on it. He’s not Dan The Automator, but he’s fresh in his own right.

Also, to celebrate this I’d like to share a little Kool Keith history with my fellow motherbloggers, so here for your viewing pleasure is the extended video version for Ultramagnetic MC’s Traveling at the Speed of Thought. And if that wasn’t enough here’s a soundbite from arguably the funniest freestyle session of all time with Kool Keith and Xzibit as captain crazy ruins freestyle after freestyle by making up different sandwiches!

Kamala: the Ugandan Spam Giant

In more crazy email news, I recently received a letter from Kamala. Kamala is possibly the closest thing wrestling has come to a utterly racist, minstrel angle. He’s this 350 lbs giant from Uganda, who debuted in the 80’s, at a time where Uganda was probably most known for its cannibal-dictator Idi Amin.

Thought up in the USWA by Jerry The King Lawler he’s based on every stereotype the King could find is National Geographic about the natives of Africa. He feuded with Hulk Hogan at houseshows in the late 90’s and returned to the WWF in the 90’s to take on a feud with the Undertaker. Kamala figured the pale mortician would make an excellent potroast, but sadly the Ugandan giant was deadly affraid of coffincases leading to his loss in the battle. It actually culminated at Wembley Stadium for the 92 Summer Slam a then 12-year-old Peter PTA was lucky enough to witness.

I dunno if that’s the reason Kamala sent me this e-mail about penis-enlargement, but I thank him anyway.